The lost moment

And there she stood, on the busiest street of the city....oblivious to her surroundings or where her feet were dragging her to.

A lost look in the eyes....she followed the trail of unknown people. Within minutes, she was facing the sea. Not a single motion in the eyes, the frown didn't leave those brows. She ran towards the shore and sat right where the waves were touching the sand, teasing it, and running back into the sea.

She looked at the sky, hoping for an inkling of a downpour. But there seemed to be none. "Damn! Where is the rain when i need it the most...." she thought. She wanted it to rain....to rain so hard that no one could see she was crying...on the inside....and now as she sat there and the heaviness just engulfed her whole being, she was crying on the outside too. Clutching on to the sand, looking at the waves, listening to the noise the water made when it slapped against the rocks....she wanted the damn rain to pour in the vain hope that it might wash away the doubts...the fears....she heard a gut wrenching cry escaping her mouth.

In that moment, the only scene that existed in front of her eyes was the setting sun and her pain which was now visible to the onlookers as well. But nothing was able to stop her from crying. She tried muffling her cry, but it only came out much louder. Then she sat there defeated of all the efforts she had made in the last few months to not let the tears escape her eyes...and she cried. She cried hard. And while she did so, she went back to thinking about how it all began.....

She was quite young when she met him. Atleast that's how she remembered it. He was cute. Always had a thoughtful look on his face. She used to sit with him and talk to him for hours...mostly about nothing in particular. She loved to touch his hair. It was soft.

She remembered the first time she felt shy in his presence. It was when she was dancing on the terrace, to the tune of the rain, with such gay abandon....and when she did suddenly notice him standing at the entrance, watching her and slowly smiling...she felt her cheeks blush and quickly ran inside, not daring to glance back!

In time she learnt to confide in him about her likes and dislikes...about everything and yet nothing in particular. He used to tell her stories from his past...as many as he could remember. The best times they spent were in the afternoon, sitting under the shade of a coconut tree and watching the people pass by. 

There were times when they disagreed. Of course there were. He was the kind to yell and disagree...she was one to rush into another room to make sure her tears weren't visible. But he was always the one to initiate the talk to end the fight. After a few if's and but's, both of them used to be pally again.

It wasn't easy when she learnt of his illness. She knew that something was wrong...but she didn't expect it to weaken him in a way she hadn't seen him before. She started spending more time with him, to make sure he wouldn't suddenly disappear into oblivion.

The constant ups and downs of his condition didn't help the situation. Every time something went wrong, she'd forget how to breathe...and when it got a little better, she clutched on to hopes even tighter. She'd count every breath he took when she held his hand every night before sleeping and pray that she was able to do at least the same thing the next morning. 

There was this one night when he seemed uneasy and unable to speak and kept staring at the same spot as if he saw something or someone there. She realised something was wrong and asked him to answer by blinking once to say "no" and twice to say "yes" to what she was about to ask. "Do you feel unable to move your eyes away from the spot?" He blinked once. "Okay....is there something important you see there?". He blinked  twice. "Is it something i know of?" He blinked once. "Are you perhaps imagining something?" He blinked once. She felt hesitant asking the next question, but it was the most of any kind of conversation she was having with him in days. "Do you see someone there?" He blinked twice. She felt a chill run through her spine, knowing they were the only two people in that room at that time...and considering he was staring at a spot on a wall, she looked in the same direction rather timidly and was relieved to see nothing but just a blank wall. She told him not to look in that direction and held his hand while he fell asleep.

The next day ran as usual, with her changing his bed, giving him his medicines, and checking on him every hour. She was attending a call in the evening when suddenly she heard the maid say "I think he's not breathing!". Her heart skipped a beat as she ran into the room, only to see him lying motionless. But he has been like this for days she told herself. He needs help to move even an inch. Let me try and move him. She tried. He didn't moan like he used to when he was being moved. He didn't roll his eyes at her. He just lay there.

The next thing she knew was that she was trying hard to gulp in some air while her mother tried to make her drink some water. How was she supposed to face that he wasn't with her anymore. How was she supposed to imagine walking into that house and not see him there. She could hear loud cries from the room where his body was. She asked to be left alone for a minute. She asked her mother to go inside and be with the rest of the people. Then she sat down on the floor feeling defeated. She felt cheated by the gods above. She took a few minutes to digest what she saw. Then she quickly reprimanded and reminded herself that she was not the only one who had lost someone that evening. Her whole family had lost someone important in their lives. 

She got up and walked back into the room and went straight to her grandmother who was sitting next to his body, pretty much motionless like him. She stood next to her grandmother for support. After all, he was her "Thatha" (grandfather),but was husband to her grandmother forever. 

After the funeral when the whole family sat together and was fondly remembering him, she mentioned the incident of that night when he signalled that he saw someone in the room. Her grandmother told her that it was a popular belief, that people tend to see the angels of death very close to their time of departure. Apparently the angels were there to take the soul of the departed to the heaven and make it easier for the soul to leave their loved ones behind. She wasn't sure she wanted to believe it...but then, if the angels were there to make the journey easier for her Thatha, she just hoped that's what had happened.

Not a day goes by when she wishes she was in the room when he took his last breath. It didn't matter that she walked out of the room to attend a phone call 5 minutes before he decided to depart. Even though the thought of it stings and hurts, she still wishes she had the chance to say goodbye. 

It had been a month today, and she couldn't help but recall. She got up, dusted her clothes to remove any evidence of the sand from the shore, and started walking back home with the image of the moon reflecting in the face of the sea behind her.

In loving memory of my thatha. I love you and i miss you. Words will never be enough to describe how much.

A way to live

You live in your dreams, but dreams may die. Don't get shattered, never ever cry. The world is big and has lots to give, pick up a new dream, coz that's the way to live! :)

- Pradeepa Rao

That which slips like the sand in your hand

And the last time she looked, her dream lay in a pitiful sorrow. Even through all that pain, it looked her unabashedly in the eye and inquired if she had forgotten about its existence. In response to that, she was forced to reminisce the time she held it close to her heart.....

Now it hurt, just to know that she was bound by the ways of life. And yet again, she failed to understand what hurt more...to not have lived the dream with all the passion in the world......or just having one in the first place?

If it was slipping away from her palm like the sand...would it help if she closed the fist to save some of it?

Would the dream then stop slipping out of her whole existence?

Moi :)

Life in MSUW : dedicated to those 3 yrs of my wonderful hostel life :D

• Using mobiles in the 1st year of grad when they weren't allowed


• Never abiding by the 7:30 deadline(can't tell u how much fun it was!)


• Thinking of a 100 excuses to come up with when late


• Sleeping in someone else's room instead of your own when this too wasn't allowed! :D


• Never reaching on time for breakfast and somehow managing to escape the warden's eye..phew!


• Fighting for the remote in the TV Room.


• Playing the piano and acting as if we were the world's next mozart to be ;)


• Straining the ears to listen for the evening snacks bell...yummy!


• Ringing each other's mobile during the assembly time :)


• Singing 'Abba Father' when everyone else in the hall was singing 'Rise'.


• Bitching about the warden 24*7 (fave past time)!


• Celebrating buddays at 12 in the night with the help of a torch light...aww i miss those midnight sessions and budday parties!


• Pragya & me running to Monginis to satisfy our cravings for a dessert at 7:15 pm knowing we won't be back by the 7:30 deadline.


• Making excuses of sickness when the dinner wasn't tasty and Mama mia's Golden eye pasta was to be ordeered instead ;)


• Ringing the hostel's PCO no. just to irritate the watchman!


• Going to the top floor library on the pretext of studying and disturbing everyone there by dragging & pulling the chairs loudly


• Trying to eavesdrop on the juniors conversation about us, the seniors....who cares anyways...we were the seniors...and WE had the power!


• Getting all our guy friends to come & meet us in the evening in the hostel shed while they could use some eye tonic :P


• Reading all the nonsensical news at the newspaper stand


• Washing clothes at 11 in the night while singing in the bathroom right next to 5 adjoining rooms and hearing people yell for some peace...loved it ;)


• Sneaking into the warden's TV Room in the middle of the night through the small window on the side door and watching all the saas-bahu serials :D


• Planning for the Gholwad trip 3 months in advance...although nothing went according to the plans :)


• Being very nice to the management just before the committee meeting ;)


• Suddenly switching the channel when the warden is on the round....coz u were watching the Desperate Housewives!


• Never adhering to the dress code of 'no-shorts' & 'below the knee level' garments


• Sometimes mischeviously sneaking & ringing the hostel bell at the wrong time :)


• Cursing Fabby for barking while we were sleeping, but otherwise cuddling it.


• Somehow managing to get the didi's in the kitchen to give u an extra plate of snacks even though the rest of the lot may feel a lack of it-well, who said favorotism din't exist :P

Nostalgia ain't good all the time!

There was a time i used to call my home with a glorified tag of "home sweet home"! I guess the charm of that name doesn't stick with it for long ;-)The day when i arrived home after 5 long months, i was received at the airport by my mother and the caretaker with great enthusiasm. The almost visible tears in my mother's eyes were so touching! On arriving home, the table was full of my favourite dishes. My mom stuffed me till my stomach could take no more.I relaxed, had a nice afternoon nap and woke up to a cuppa cooffee which my mom said- she had prepared with all the love in the world.i thought to myself-'how lucky am i!'

I opened the door to en elated father in the evening when he had just come back from office.There were hugs, there was laughter, there was all the happiness one could imagine.The remaining day was spent in discussions of what all i missed when i wasn't home and what all has been happening on my side. Little did i know that this was all an 'ek din ka raja' programme.I started cursing my fate the very next morning when my dad woke me up at 6:30 saying that i needed to do Yogasana with him!!

"C'mmon dad, u can't be serious..pls stop playing pranks n lemme sleep well"

"No darling, since i can see you have put on considerable amount of weight and because you are so lethargic that you won't start gymming right away, i will make sure you do yogasana with me daily for your own good"

"Aargh! Dad, you don't have to be so considerable" Somehow i shoo him away like he is some unwanted crow perched on my window sill.

Next, i am munching on a packet of banana chips while watching TV around mid-noon when my mom suddenly jerks the packet away from my hands as if its a venomous snake and exclaims- "Are you blind or what? Can't you see your waistline is exceeding at the speed of an F1 car?!!" Mom, if i don't eat whatever i want to when i am home, when else will i? Afterall, there are a lot of disadvantages if you are a vegetarian and are sent to a Country where people eat whatever they see crawling!!!

"But i thought u had tears in your eyes when you saw me at the airport..."

"Well, that was because i was so worried about your increasing weight when i saw u " Iam about to retort when i hear a "Nothing Doing! You are going to follow a strict diet from now onwards. That's it!" This was all that was left to my wonderful day to make it even more memorable :-(

By evening i am beginning to have a headache what with all these restrictions. I decide to take some time off to surf the net and see if some bakra is online for me to shower him/her with my day's troubles. Yippee! i see an old friend online and have just pinged him when my mom enters my room and starts lecturing me on how i should keep it neat so that it saves her the trouble of doing that extra bit of work that she otherwise doesn't need to do since when i am not home, she never needs to enter my room. By the time i am done arguing with her, i see that the friend of mine has sent me a few msgs and obviously since i hadn't replied to even a single of them...he thought i was too busy and decided to log off.

Sniff Sob! I should not take hasty decisions like coming home when in a state of Nostalgia! I am about to start crying in the old hindi film heroine style when my Cell phone rings its lovely tune!! I am about to pick the call when my mom reaches to it before me and very smartly picks up the call and says- "oh, Namaste Kiran beta, kaise ho? Umm..Pradeepa? beta wo to thode dinon ke liye nani ke ghar gayi hai...mai bata doongi use ki tumne call kiya tha.Bye beta." What?! How could she say that when i am right here!! I demand an explanation and the answer i get is-"You are home to be with family and spend some lovely moments with us. Not so that you could stick to your cell like people from The Fevicol company are paying you for being so attached to it." I completely deserve this for being utterly foolish to even think that my family would be very elated to see me and will let me do all that i want when i am home this time!

And the saga continues....the next day morning i am woken up by my mom's saccharine sweet voice(a tone that she uses with me when she wants to get some work done)" Darling, would you not get up and drop your mom to the doctor? The driver is not well and won't be in today." Of course i love driving, but not at 8 am in the morning...and that too when i've slept at 4 in the morning after watching a horror movie......Please.!.Please tell me this is a dream.....

Finally... A Confession :)

Walking down the road together
he glanced at me sideways
I wondered whether that was
a sweet loving gaze.

We walked in Silence for
quite sometime,
each waiting for the other to speak
Finally he cleared his throat
as if he'll sing an Opera

Looking at my puzzled expression
he shut his mouth again
I gave a wicked smile as if
asking him to start

He couldn't help it but
smiled a bit himself.
Hands in the pockets,
he started whistling a tune
and soon saw that it was on my ears
so awefully immune :))

Finally he just shrugged his shoulders and asked,
'what is it that i should do, to impress
a snob like you?'
'i shall take that as a compliment',
I commented and said, 'u needn't do anything..
but be yourself'. Life is full of people
who try to be different. But i chose him
coz he din't need to try...he was different!

To him i was his coy but snobbish beloved,
to me, he was my hero, my darling.
I said it all through expressions,
he chose to voice his thougts.He finally knew,
why i liked him and had me say it too.

Clever that he was to do so,
little does he know...he's
about to witness a rollercoaster
ride in this journey of attraction.

An ode to the picture i painted in my head :)

Just before the dawn breaks
with the chin held high &
a stride full of pride
he walks towards the sea shore
expecting answers to a lot of his doubts
thinking the waves might,
provide him with them in bouts.
A frown forming on the face
he quickens his pace
The sky starts taking colour
by the time he is there
He spreads his arms at the sea
wondering if it'd take him where,
he can heave a sigh of relief
making stronger his belief,
that the world is incapable
of understanding what he does
That no one thinks as differently as him
and thus the fuss.
He starts walking slowly
from one end of the shore so vast,
allowing his mind to wander
somewhere in the past.
"was i right or was i not?...
or is it just a vague thought?"
engulfing the chirping of the birds
with questions such,
he smiles at the reminiscence
but not too much.
When his feet touch a shell in the clay
he thinks he's already walked a long way
But when he turns to realise
he is somewhere in the middle,
he shakes his head saying-"life's such a riddle"
Just when he starts to walk again
loud rings the alarm for his day to begin.
He wakes up amazed as the dream seemed to be so real
it left him in a daze cuz it was simply surreal.
Walking towards the entrance to open the door
he wished the dream was prolonged,
just a little more...
Sad that he woke up
just when he was close to solving the riddle,
restlessly with the things around
he begins to fiddle.
Telling himself that he is different from all
in the woods where he'd next be in his dream,
he'd let this thought befall.
In this wonderland for sure,
he promises himself that the dream will prolong
for just a little more.

look what you can do to me

I strive hard to not let go
& strive harder to be your shadow.
it takes a lot to hold back the tears
its pain and disdain which come with the fears.
i will heal,in time like everybody else
but i doubt the memory will escape me soon.
i know here the fault's mine alone to endure
but i'm also aware that my feelings are pure.
sometimes i feel so oblivious,so helpless
i guess it'll take time to clear this mess.
I believe not in giving up in a single try
maybe that's the reason i end up hurt many more times.
I wish i was a rock which could feel no pain
trust me,i have tried being one...but in vain.
I let you be the centre of my world
i let u give me warmth when the rest were cold.
But i guess i was happy too soon
din't know it's a dark night with no moon.
i'll crawl back to my corner in the room
and sleep before this sadness can croon.
i want to wake up with just silence around
with a feeling of nothingness that is so profound.
Coz i don't like the voices i hear in my head
i wish in a jiffy, they are all just dead.
I feel sorry i ever felt this way
but my dreams are being taken away.
Pursue i still will with all of my heart
coz it'd be crazy to simply let it fall apart.
i'll let you be a witness to my clueless state
judge me as u wish, it won't change my fate.

everything has a price to pay

why is it that we run after something that is so hard to achieve,a person who won't be 'the one' however much u pursue them? in either case, we try really really hard, put all of our heart in it, lose sleep over such matters only to realise there is a price to pay. in the matters of the heart,it is pain,hurt and grievance that serves as the bill. we let the tears happen...endure,grieve and move on. learning something new from such an experience, we try to apply those lessons in future to our daily situations. but does it really help? do we really forget completely what we left behind? it comes back to you once in a while...haunting u like the ghosts of the past.sometimes u feel that it's only your shallow heart that's beating. but there is one thing someone once told me, "Listen to the voice within... it speaks the clearest and the purest of ur thoughts".It is true...it does work.we may not really like what we hear it say, but then it never lets u stray.it tells u that yes, there are a lot of things involved when you go for what you really want.sometimes it needs sacrifices on our part,may make us feel frustrated,helpless,humiliated or sad.but there is no gain without pain.It tells you that if you want something that badly, it is worth every try.....making u aware of the consequences,yet pushing you to try hard, to touch the most toughest spots, to be focussed, to let not the world stop you! It is then that you make a decision,being completely conscious of all the pro's and cons. The best part's yet to come...and that happens when you stick by your decision.

one of my fave poems written by a friend

The Art Of True Friendship

Smiles appear on once apathetic faces
Two friends living in different places
Listening to one another throughout the night
Soft spoken words to make everything alright

Stumbled upon a friendship built to last
Smiles without tears in today’s forecast
Laughing sporadically without end
Helping one another around life's bends

Growing closer with each word said
Allow one another's tears to freely shed
Wiping them softly when it gets too much
Pain soon relieved with hugs and such

"Lean on my shoulder when you're down"
Promises exchanged to always be around
Tell your fears darling, I'll tell mine
"I promise to never leave you behind"

Soft spoken words to make everything alright
Listening to one another throughout the night
Two friends living in different places
Smiles appear on once apathetic faces

Simple Pleasures Of Life

Have u ever felt the urge to run out of the class,a gathering or a situation...away to somewhere lonely where lush greenery whispers the secrets of mother nature's ways of providing comforting peace to us? I for one have felt so umpteen no. of times.Well,Not that i am a sad soul....the idea of being among nature offers a solace which brings immense satisfaction to me.

In today's world, life has become a rat race where the finishing line always seems to be too far...and just when we think we are getting closer to it and are about to touch it, something happens and we find ourselves striving to begin from scratch.

Agreed it's not a nice feeling....but look at the brighter side of it..it gives u a chance to rethink about certain decisions of yours.was all that you were running after really so important that you couldn't take out a few minutes and enjoy the little pleasures of life? for eg. a walk in the rain,standing on the terrace and staring at the stars, gettin up early to see the dawn with a cup of coffee or tea, see the sun set and think over what all you did in the day etc. The list of the simple pleasures of life is endless.I am only saying that Nature contributes to these pleasures in a major way.And we must be happy about the fact that it does not cost us anything but just a little time and a smile on our faces :).

What is it like to have a crush...

It's something amazing,
at times so enraging.

A feeling that causes us to think,
making us give,sometimes a mischievous wink!

Like a touch of the cool breeze,
like the fragrance of a tweeny flower,
making us soar in the sky,
allowing ourselves to wonder 'why'?

Making us pick out various reasons,
hovering and capturing our hearts in all seasons!

We wander lost in their thoughts
Sometimes u feel like the thought rots!

But then again we are elated...
when we see them our pupils are dilated!

Does it always end up in romance?
nah not always..so what?take a trip to France!

What's the relevance of going there?
well u know,the chances of meeting someone new aren't that rare!

Why Worry?

Life is a bargain,
I tell this to myself time and again.
Everyone's attitude does need a little bit of finishing touch,
but it really does not bother anyone much.

Why don't all of us think about each other?
Why can't all of us compromise together?
Look at yourself in the mirror and say,
where do you want to go and which way?

My experience, I'll tell you what?
be patient and all the problems are sought.
Enjoy yourself and set yourself free,
for you may not get a chance...might be!

Just for a moment, you'll be swept off your feet,
by the music of life and its beat.
Don't look back in your life,
just to feel the pain and the strife?!

Lead yourself to the open world of happiness,
forget about all your troubles and their mess.

Gaanv ki chori! :)

The early morning alarm sounded by a cock,the chirping of the birds,the sweet smell of the wet earth(which in this case is due to water being splashed on the patch of land at the front door instead of the rains),the 'muggu'(a rangoli kind of a thing drawn only in white chalk powder on the wet earth every morning as a ritual),my grandmom's voice waking me up with a hot cuppa tea with cardamom in it......these li'l memories were enough to lure me to take a train to my native village,Eluru,the very second day of me landing in India.

Did i forget to mention that Eluru is situated in the state of Andhra Pradesh?It is the headquarters of West Godavari district and has a population of 189,772.anyways,enough of the facts and figures about it...let me go back to boring u with the fresh memory of my trip to my roots.As it was quite cold when i left in the train to Eluru from Bhubaneswar,i made sure to wear a sweater,expecting the same kinda weather there too.But then if it is as humid with a temperature of 34 degrees celcius,one would look like either a fool or a malaria patient with that sweater still on won't he/she? he he! not to mention i had taken very few cool summer clothes and had packed around 7-8 woollen pairs for a 4 day trip!cursing myself for acting too intelligent,i started searching for an auto at the station which could gimme a ride home.Finally after managing to grab one while struggling my way through the horrenduous crowd,i got myself involved in a verbal brawl with the rickshaw puller for the injustice he's threw in my face by asking me to pay Rs.30 for a short distance!well, i will not lie here by saying that i managed to win the fight.yes, i resigned to the injustice as i was devoid of any energy to continue the fight any longer than the 15 minutes that it had already managed to last.

Needless to say i had a stupid smile on my face when we started riding home....everything around me was making me smile-the ubiquitous tea stalls,the yellowed walls,the torn up film posters,the billboards carrying jewellery ads by South Indian "Mega Stars", the kids sitting with a 'lota' on the roadside,the buffaloes and cows blocking our way,the smell of cowdung...everything!it didn't matter how i looked anymore or what anyone thought about the stupid smile on my face....is why i named this post-'it whispers it does not shriek'.village life is way different from the hustle bustle of the city life which always seems to scream....and what mattered most to me was that i was back to where i belonged and was about to meet my family after what seemed like eons!

I was broken outta my reverie when io felt the rickshaw slowing down n realised i was close to home.i got out of the rickshaw when it came to a halt and was about to take out my wallet to pay the fare,i heard squeals of laughter behind me and turned to see my 6 cousins of all shapes and sizes rushing to meet me with broad grins on their faces.The fight for the unfair rate demanded by the rickshaw guy was continued by my cousin who was enraged when he heard how much i was being charged...letting the other cousins take care of my luggage,i proceeded toenter the house into the welcoming arms of my other waiting family members who hugged me tight n kissed my forehead wet(even though i was all sweaty from the trip) and snatched the remaining handbad and airbag out of my hands to instantly replace them with my newly born nephew...awwww he was damn cute man!Life had never felt better...it's a bliss...to be loved so deeply by so many people :)

Thus allowing my family members to hover around me worrying and wondering over my shabby stae and as to why i had put on so much weight inspite of staying away from home and that i should take better care of my skin(all the things that a girl living in a city would get to hear once she goes back to the village...only here the 'weighty issue' is different.tee hee!),i continued my smiling session and decided to enjoy this vacation even though my staying there longer meant long lectures on my weight ;).

On A nOsTaLgIc NoTe.........(continuation)

   ...but fate has other plans for me..i hear Sr.Ananda call out for Riddhi and realise that i have no chances of getting a green signal in that attendance sheet under the nose of the modern hitler handling it(christ!)and thus i decide to sneak into the class without her noticing me so she doesn't get the chance to appreciate my presence in her class.i somehow manage entering the class and duck behind Nidhi to avoid giving Sr.Ananda the pleasure of verbally murdering me.I was preparing a nice pillow outta my bag to sleep on in the last bench when suddenly the amongst the soft murmuring in the class rings a loud Michael Jackson number!gasp! i forgot switching my cell to the 'silent' mode....what next?i lift my head up to see the personification of detention hovering over me with gritted teeth and a malicious look on the face ready for the 'aakraman'.could i just curl and die?no.....not allowed!!! The next thing i know,i am blabbering utter rubbish,fishing for excuses as to why i haven't yet submitted my assignment,a 1000 word essay on any one of the female authors that we had in our course this year,"ummm...ma'am i couldn't get sufficient matter on teh subject"oops!wrong one....."well, Ms.Rao,i am sure if you shower the library with ur benevolent love and presence once in a while,say....once or twice a year atleast,you will find enough matter to fill the walls of atleast 5 lecture rooms!!!"

I try hard to act deaf and concentrate on the 'samosa pav' i am chewing on,sitting on my fave bench in the canteen,with Rumpa and Tejaswini hammering me with their lectures of how i should get my life in Order to avoid any such encounters that i had to face earlier in the day.And since my mouth is so full.....i have no other option but to listen :(. I manage mumbling a defeated "fine guys" and console myself saying"they will stop now......they will not say anything after this..."."But why were you late?you moron,you could do so much better only if u listen to us once in a while"frowns Rumpa.i decide to retort now and face her...but then suddenly it strikes me how beautiful she managed looking even with that frown of hers.i start smiling,"what?why are you smiling shameless woman?!i am telling you...i will pour chilled water on you tomorrow morning...blah blah blah....." i am no longer paying attention to what she is saying...instead i start wondering what life would be like after graduation,without these sweethearts of mine around.Pragya's constant nagging[i deserve it of course ;)],Jayashree's crazy singing and teasing,Monika's sick jokes,Rumpa's practical arguements,Saumya's crazy laughter,Teja's Shocked expressions...awwww how will i live without all of this? sniff ! sob! "oye! are u even listening to what i am saying?where the hell are you lost? get up now,time for Psychology lec...chalo".i shake my head still lost in thought...when my Junior Jasman exclaims-"aaarrgghhhh!!! no!!!" is when i pay attention that she and me are wearing the same 'westside'kurta,which matches not just in design but the colour too!! you must be wondering the significance of such exaggerated exchanges of gasps that escaped our mouths..well,in a girls college,especially one that is so 'fashion conscious',it is a cardinal sin to be wearing the same kinda clothes!!! "you or me?"i ask Jas..hoping she would say "me" like a sweet junior should(this is regarding the matter as to who would stop wearing the garment to college anymore)but instead she gives a puppy look expression and says "you"....i am about to refuse when it strikes me..i have faded this kurta out quite a bit..i could do with a li'l bit of a change in my wardrobe..and with this new ray of hope..of shopping of course! i proceed for the lecture with a wide grin thinkiing of ways to manipulate my father to send me some extra cash for the new wardrobe! :D

On A nOsTaLgIc NoTe.........

'Ding! Dong!'....the 7:15 am's breakfast bell."let's rush pradz,we've got to catch the 7:40 bus!else we'll be 10 mins late for our first lecture..."comes my roomie and best friend Pragya's voice."huh?it's 7:15 already??....(i wonder).But prags,i ain't even ready yet,when the hell will i have breakfast?"At this,Prags turns around in anger and shock at the same time...."i woke u up at 6:15 baby,what were you doing instead of getting ready for college?oh i am sure...u musta put ur mobile on the 'snooze' mode as soon as i went into the bathroom to have my bath!!that's what u did,din't u?i could kill you for this now,but we have no time for that.come downstairs in 5 mins...i'll get your breakfast plate to the mess.....but hey!5 means 5 and not 10!".....what is she so fussy about....why can't she be carefree like me...big deal if we miss the bus...we'll take the next one i smile to myself,and then suddenly realise...gosh!It's a Thursday today....Sr.Ananda's class....omg...i won't get attendance if i am not there on time.hell......why don't i listen to my roomie at times...and with this early morning ritual of cursing myself and my fate for being the way it is...i put on my clothes in a hurry,grab my bag and rush down the stairs for breakfast.Right when i am about to enter the mess....i hear someone clearing their throat in a warning manner..and my shoes screech as i suddenly halt at the entrance,closing my eyes in a way which reads-why does it always have to be me?!i then straighten my expression and with a fake smile turn around to see Rose Ma'am standing there with a not so happy expression first looking at me and then dramatically and slowly turning her eyes to her watch and then saying-"late again".I walk towards her,and try my stunts of making a genuine sounding excuse..."Rose ma'am!what a lovely morning isn't it?trust me,i'd got up on time....but you know how these other girls in my wing are...tch tch!so much time they take up in the bathroom....lordy knows what they do inside!! if only they understood that it's because of them that i am late for college everyday.huh!"I can see a smile forming on Rose Ma'am's lips(btw...i forgot introducing her.....she's the food warden of MSUW,my abode for the 3 yrs of graduate life)....and then decide to take advantage of it..and say while giving her a bear hug,"please lemme go...i'll miss my bus.."she gives her watch one last dramatic look...gives out a sigh and comments"what do i do about you girl?you don't even let me get angry or scold you...."as soon as she's done saying this....i hug her once more..yell out a thanks and rush inside the mess to find a fuming Pragya throwing dirty glances at me for being so lethargic.I act like an ignoramus and grab the pieces of toast in the plate and hurry her.."c'mmon prags...we'll be late"she rolls her eyes"look who's talking".poor her has to run for the cab with me since me being me,missed even the last bus which coul have made us reach on time for the lecture.I huff and puff running up the stairs of my college to get to Room No. 9 for the lecture.and while doing so,as is my habit,i do not forget cursing the architect,thanks to whom i have to climb those stairs when i am already late for the lecture!! i halt at the entrance of the class and wait for Sr.Ananda to look up from the attendance sheet hoping against hope that my name hasn't yet been taken(o lord pls pls plssssssssssss)..............[contd...]