look what you can do to me

I strive hard to not let go
& strive harder to be your shadow.
it takes a lot to hold back the tears
its pain and disdain which come with the fears.
i will heal,in time like everybody else
but i doubt the memory will escape me soon.
i know here the fault's mine alone to endure
but i'm also aware that my feelings are pure.
sometimes i feel so oblivious,so helpless
i guess it'll take time to clear this mess.
I believe not in giving up in a single try
maybe that's the reason i end up hurt many more times.
I wish i was a rock which could feel no pain
trust me,i have tried being one...but in vain.
I let you be the centre of my world
i let u give me warmth when the rest were cold.
But i guess i was happy too soon
din't know it's a dark night with no moon.
i'll crawl back to my corner in the room
and sleep before this sadness can croon.
i want to wake up with just silence around
with a feeling of nothingness that is so profound.
Coz i don't like the voices i hear in my head
i wish in a jiffy, they are all just dead.
I feel sorry i ever felt this way
but my dreams are being taken away.
Pursue i still will with all of my heart
coz it'd be crazy to simply let it fall apart.
i'll let you be a witness to my clueless state
judge me as u wish, it won't change my fate.

everything has a price to pay

why is it that we run after something that is so hard to achieve,a person who won't be 'the one' however much u pursue them? in either case, we try really really hard, put all of our heart in it, lose sleep over such matters only to realise there is a price to pay. in the matters of the heart,it is pain,hurt and grievance that serves as the bill. we let the tears happen...endure,grieve and move on. learning something new from such an experience, we try to apply those lessons in future to our daily situations. but does it really help? do we really forget completely what we left behind? it comes back to you once in a while...haunting u like the ghosts of the past.sometimes u feel that it's only your shallow heart that's beating. but there is one thing someone once told me, "Listen to the voice within... it speaks the clearest and the purest of ur thoughts".It is true...it does work.we may not really like what we hear it say, but then it never lets u stray.it tells u that yes, there are a lot of things involved when you go for what you really want.sometimes it needs sacrifices on our part,may make us feel frustrated,helpless,humiliated or sad.but there is no gain without pain.It tells you that if you want something that badly, it is worth every try.....making u aware of the consequences,yet pushing you to try hard, to touch the most toughest spots, to be focussed, to let not the world stop you! It is then that you make a decision,being completely conscious of all the pro's and cons. The best part's yet to come...and that happens when you stick by your decision.

one of my fave poems written by a friend

The Art Of True Friendship

Smiles appear on once apathetic faces
Two friends living in different places
Listening to one another throughout the night
Soft spoken words to make everything alright

Stumbled upon a friendship built to last
Smiles without tears in today’s forecast
Laughing sporadically without end
Helping one another around life's bends

Growing closer with each word said
Allow one another's tears to freely shed
Wiping them softly when it gets too much
Pain soon relieved with hugs and such

"Lean on my shoulder when you're down"
Promises exchanged to always be around
Tell your fears darling, I'll tell mine
"I promise to never leave you behind"

Soft spoken words to make everything alright
Listening to one another throughout the night
Two friends living in different places
Smiles appear on once apathetic faces

Simple Pleasures Of Life

Have u ever felt the urge to run out of the class,a gathering or a situation...away to somewhere lonely where lush greenery whispers the secrets of mother nature's ways of providing comforting peace to us? I for one have felt so umpteen no. of times.Well,Not that i am a sad soul....the idea of being among nature offers a solace which brings immense satisfaction to me.

In today's world, life has become a rat race where the finishing line always seems to be too far...and just when we think we are getting closer to it and are about to touch it, something happens and we find ourselves striving to begin from scratch.

Agreed it's not a nice feeling....but look at the brighter side of it..it gives u a chance to rethink about certain decisions of yours.was all that you were running after really so important that you couldn't take out a few minutes and enjoy the little pleasures of life? for eg. a walk in the rain,standing on the terrace and staring at the stars, gettin up early to see the dawn with a cup of coffee or tea, see the sun set and think over what all you did in the day etc. The list of the simple pleasures of life is endless.I am only saying that Nature contributes to these pleasures in a major way.And we must be happy about the fact that it does not cost us anything but just a little time and a smile on our faces :).

What is it like to have a crush...

It's something amazing,
at times so enraging.

A feeling that causes us to think,
making us give,sometimes a mischievous wink!

Like a touch of the cool breeze,
like the fragrance of a tweeny flower,
making us soar in the sky,
allowing ourselves to wonder 'why'?

Making us pick out various reasons,
hovering and capturing our hearts in all seasons!

We wander lost in their thoughts
Sometimes u feel like the thought rots!

But then again we are elated...
when we see them our pupils are dilated!

Does it always end up in romance?
nah not always..so what?take a trip to France!

What's the relevance of going there?
well u know,the chances of meeting someone new aren't that rare!

Why Worry?

Life is a bargain,
I tell this to myself time and again.
Everyone's attitude does need a little bit of finishing touch,
but it really does not bother anyone much.

Why don't all of us think about each other?
Why can't all of us compromise together?
Look at yourself in the mirror and say,
where do you want to go and which way?

My experience, I'll tell you what?
be patient and all the problems are sought.
Enjoy yourself and set yourself free,
for you may not get a chance...might be!

Just for a moment, you'll be swept off your feet,
by the music of life and its beat.
Don't look back in your life,
just to feel the pain and the strife?!

Lead yourself to the open world of happiness,
forget about all your troubles and their mess.

Gaanv ki chori! :)

The early morning alarm sounded by a cock,the chirping of the birds,the sweet smell of the wet earth(which in this case is due to water being splashed on the patch of land at the front door instead of the rains),the 'muggu'(a rangoli kind of a thing drawn only in white chalk powder on the wet earth every morning as a ritual),my grandmom's voice waking me up with a hot cuppa tea with cardamom in it......these li'l memories were enough to lure me to take a train to my native village,Eluru,the very second day of me landing in India.

Did i forget to mention that Eluru is situated in the state of Andhra Pradesh?It is the headquarters of West Godavari district and has a population of 189,772.anyways,enough of the facts and figures about it...let me go back to boring u with the fresh memory of my trip to my roots.As it was quite cold when i left in the train to Eluru from Bhubaneswar,i made sure to wear a sweater,expecting the same kinda weather there too.But then if it is as humid with a temperature of 34 degrees celcius,one would look like either a fool or a malaria patient with that sweater still on won't he/she? he he! not to mention i had taken very few cool summer clothes and had packed around 7-8 woollen pairs for a 4 day trip!cursing myself for acting too intelligent,i started searching for an auto at the station which could gimme a ride home.Finally after managing to grab one while struggling my way through the horrenduous crowd,i got myself involved in a verbal brawl with the rickshaw puller for the injustice he's threw in my face by asking me to pay Rs.30 for a short distance!well, i will not lie here by saying that i managed to win the fight.yes, i resigned to the injustice as i was devoid of any energy to continue the fight any longer than the 15 minutes that it had already managed to last.

Needless to say i had a stupid smile on my face when we started riding home....everything around me was making me smile-the ubiquitous tea stalls,the yellowed walls,the torn up film posters,the billboards carrying jewellery ads by South Indian "Mega Stars", the kids sitting with a 'lota' on the roadside,the buffaloes and cows blocking our way,the smell of cowdung...everything!it didn't matter how i looked anymore or what anyone thought about the stupid smile on my face....is why i named this post-'it whispers it does not shriek'.village life is way different from the hustle bustle of the city life which always seems to scream....and what mattered most to me was that i was back to where i belonged and was about to meet my family after what seemed like eons!

I was broken outta my reverie when io felt the rickshaw slowing down n realised i was close to home.i got out of the rickshaw when it came to a halt and was about to take out my wallet to pay the fare,i heard squeals of laughter behind me and turned to see my 6 cousins of all shapes and sizes rushing to meet me with broad grins on their faces.The fight for the unfair rate demanded by the rickshaw guy was continued by my cousin who was enraged when he heard how much i was being charged...letting the other cousins take care of my luggage,i proceeded toenter the house into the welcoming arms of my other waiting family members who hugged me tight n kissed my forehead wet(even though i was all sweaty from the trip) and snatched the remaining handbad and airbag out of my hands to instantly replace them with my newly born nephew...awwww he was damn cute man!Life had never felt better...it's a bliss...to be loved so deeply by so many people :)

Thus allowing my family members to hover around me worrying and wondering over my shabby stae and as to why i had put on so much weight inspite of staying away from home and that i should take better care of my skin(all the things that a girl living in a city would get to hear once she goes back to the village...only here the 'weighty issue' is different.tee hee!),i continued my smiling session and decided to enjoy this vacation even though my staying there longer meant long lectures on my weight ;).